Another fine mess

Having had a convesation with jeanette i had decided i was not going to do timbrels as she said it was fast and hard.  But at rehearsals today ste said off you go and i said im not doing it he and other people said have a go.  So i did and i struggled with bits but got others but more that that i felt like i belonged and it is a long time since i felt likt that.  I know it's my thought because i come out of songsters and uniform but i have felt more and more like an outsider and it dosent help when people tret you like that as well and dont include you in things or ignore you.  But suddenly i didnt feel like that and  i had conversations with people who i wouldnt normal.  The only thing is will i be able to keep up.  And how do i get my own back...